Transformative Self-Care for Mind, Body, and Spirit

When the weight of the world feels like it's bearing down on your shoulders, finding the strength to set boundaries and heal from the past can feel like a battle you're facing alone. But it's a journey I know all too well. Join me, Shaniqua, as I share my own experiences with childhood adversity, the heartbreak of losing my great grandmother, and the trials of early motherhood. This episode isn't just about sharing stories; it's about equipping you with the faith that the best is still ahead and the tools to craft a vision of holistic well-being. Together, we'll navigate the impact of our histories on our current selves and begin charting a course toward not just coping, but thriving.

Let's take self-care beyond the buzzword. This episode zeros in on the transformative power of intentionally naming your journey and committing to self-care routines that resonate with your soul. Whether it's through the rhythm of music, the quiet of meditation, or the vitality of exercise, I'll be your partner in crafting moments of joy and peace post-payday and beyond. We'll tackle the importance of mental health, the need to disconnect from life's negativities, and the magic of embracing life's lessons in real-time. Consider this your personal invitation to an intimate space where transformation, healing, and self-care aren't just lofty ideals, but daily practices we'll embrace together.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to Free Concepts on Mask, where we motivate, educate and elevate. I am your host, shaniqua. I want to thank you guys so much for listening week after week. Oh, thank you so much for your support, your love. Thank you for sharing with others this podcast. It's been amazing, guys, this journey. Oh my goodness, I can't thank you enough.

Speaker 1: 0:25

Before we begin our topic, though, I wanted to go ahead and start off with prayer. But before I start off with prayer, I want you to do me a favor and reflect for a moment, look back over your life and realize what God has brought you through. It was some times that your back was against the wall. It was times you didn't think you would make it, but God brought you through it, and you might not be where you want to be, but you're then going to show me where you used to be. Okay, the best is yet to come.

Speaker 1: 1:00

If I look at the name of Jesus, god, I come to you, lord, and I say thank you God. Thank you God for all that you've done and all that you are doing in our lives right now, today. God, oh God, I ask for a fresh anointing over our listeners, god, a fresh anointing over this world, god, peace, peace and unity right now. In the name of Jesus, god, I thank you for your mercy, your grace. I thank you for your forgiveness. Most of all, I thank you for your love, God, always loving us. God, no matter what it looks like, no matter what it feels like, god, that we know that you have a plan is your will, god, that you will be done. Let it align up with your will, god, not mine and God. I ask on today that whoever is listening, that you touch them in a mighty way, that you transform them into what you need them to be, so you can get the glory, god, we ask for restoration, transformation and healing right now, in the name of Jesus, god, god, I ask that you bless our listeners, that you also, god, have them to be able to receive the word, whatever it is that you speak through me, god, that they have an open heart, open minds, to be able to receive what it is that you want to give to them, so that they can move forward in their purpose. God, we love you, we adore you and we lift you up with the highest, highest praise. Hallelujah, god, amen, amen. Hey guys, thank you so much for tuning in.

Speaker 1: 2:36

Listen, we're going to go ahead and jump right on into this because I want to hold you up, but let me tell you, this word is going to be so good, okay. So listen, I was thinking. I said I wanted to begin this year with new beginnings. This is my last year in my 40s. I'll be 50 in July. You know.

Speaker 1: 3:02

I was thinking about what can I do to make a change in my life that's going to be for the better. I want to be healthy, not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, right. So I was thinking about creating this board and writing down the things that I want to do for me. So let me take you back for a minute and I want to just kind of just just bear with me.

Speaker 1: 3:31

So what I realized is that a lot of us are stuck in the past where we were broken or where we were once hurt or damaged. Okay, as a child, or even in relationships, a lot of people's brokenness comes from when you were children, whether your parents got divorced, whether you were abused, whether someone mistreated you, hurt you, whatever the case may be. So think about this for a moment that, as a child, you're wounded, you're hurt, you disappointed. You're not seeing it. You're starting out to trust anymore. Because of what's going on, you feel unworthy, you feel like you're not enough. Okay, whenever that moment happened for you as a child generally, but if it happened to you later in life, maybe in a relationship, you got your heart broken and they deceived you and manipulated you and whatever. Think back at that time.

Speaker 1: 4:34

And I believe, for me, the time that I was broken and damaged, even though I had molestine, abuse as a child. But when I turned 13 years old and my great grandmother passed away, when, I tell you, my heart was broken, I felt like my whole world crumbled. Okay, so I think that was the moment for me where I felt like I was her baby. You know, I could be a child, but when she was gone and I had to, she raised me because my mom was on drugs. So my mom came back to try to be the mother that she wasn't, you know to me, at all growing up and she ended up back on drugs and that just messed up our relationship, the relationship that we were trying to repair. But there was no repairing after, you know, of course, she was ill on drugs. So for me, that's my moment where I felt like I had to grow up. I felt like I couldn't trust people. I felt like I was unloved because nobody loved me like my great grandmother, and I felt like I wasn't enough, I was rejected, neglected. All of those negative feelings.

Speaker 1: 5:58

And so, moving forward, you know, I had to basically become an adult, or be grown at 13 and kind of fend for myself by 16, I'm pregnant, have my son at 17 years old, graduated from high school. I had him just before I graduated and I then moved and jumped right in from adulthood to motherhood. All those years that I should have been a child and joyful and free. There was so much pressure on me and it really changed my life in such a way that I felt like I was all alone and I had to do these things by myself. So now here I'm, a mother haven't even still a child myself that I'm a mother to this beautiful baby, that now I'm responsible for a gift that God has given me and I have to do right by this baby. So all my childish ways had to go aside. I had, as soon as you know, I started working and and maintaining, getting an apartment, all those different life decisions, because now I'm taking care of this child.

Speaker 1: 7:16

So for me that was my broken place and I really believe that moving forward and other relationships I just said this before, discussed this before romantic ships, relationships or family ships or friendships we show up as this little girl wounded or this little boy wounded Now, even though our body says grown into a woman or a man, is still this child that we have to heal, we have to comfort, we have to love. But we were taught to keep going, work hard, get your education, do what you got to do, and we don't take the time to heal and grieve sometimes and do what's necessary for our own well being. So we've moved on and then we come to this pivotal moment in our lives that we're waking and we look back at all that we've been through. We say unto ourselves like why do I keep repeating the same cycles and the same routines and dating kind of the same people, even though we you know that's our ex, but we still end up sometimes finding someone that's similar, if not worse than our ex friendships same thing. You know, we fall into this cycle because we're still really that little girl, little boy that stuck in the past and we connect with energies that are familiar to us.

Speaker 1: 8:54

So if I'm sad, depressed, I don't feel like I'm enough, if I feel unvalued or unworthy, then that's what I'm going to attract, generally, okay. So I said I want to work on me, I'm going through the spiritual journey, I want to do the inner work so I don't keep repeating the same cycles over and over and over, disappointing myself and also disappointing God. That's how I feel, okay. So what can I do to change? I need to make a decision and choose me. All my life I've been taking care of you know people and my children and giving myself to everyone, being a people pleaser, because I want to see people smile, I want them happy and I want them to feel good and comfortable, and you know. But At times they're comfortable and I'm uncomfortable, you know. And I said I'm gonna stop doing that, I'm gonna start setting boundaries, saying no, making no, a complete sentence, if I don't want to do something or if I don't want to go somewhere, sorry, nope, not going, nope, can't do it, because I'm learning to set those boundaries for me. So I don't feel overwhelmed.

Speaker 1: 10:15

And I want to mention also with new jobs, new careers, we want to prove something when we get into those new Jobs and we work hard and over time and we go above and beyond, and then we drain ourselves. Now understanding why we're drained Because at once, when we first started, we were so happy and excited to start that new job. You know like, oh, here they paying this, I'm getting some benefits. And then all of a sudden we get back into uh, this, I don't want to say imprisonment, but we give everything to the job and to the people and our family that we don't have anything for ourselves. And then we get stressed out, we get depressed. Oh, I don't want to go into this job because we're not giving anything to ourselves, we're not Refilling ourselves up. So we have to fill ourselves up in order to be able to pour out of our cup and, as in the bible says, you can't pour from an empty cup. Okay, so you're going to have to go ahead and fill yourself up.

Speaker 1: 11:23

So I said all of that to say this it's time, guys, new beginnings, new beginnings for you, taking time for you I don't care if it's 10 minutes to an hour just for you doing something you enjoy doing. So what I did was I created a calendar and I said, starting Monday, because I said this before now. I'm gonna stick to it this time and y'all gonna have to, uh, hold me accountable. But starting Monday, well, sunday, I'm gonna do my church, which is, you know, I watch sarah jakes, roberts, um, some sermons, you know I some positive videos To fill myself back up on sunday. So Monday I'm going to walk after work.

Speaker 1: 12:14

Tuesday I'm going to go in the gym before work, maybe 10, 15, well, 15 minutes. I'm gonna start out slow because I don't want, with eyes hurting stuff hurting, you know what I mean, I don't want to overdo it. Wednesday it's going to be bible study, okay, um, time with god, worship and meditating, all that good stuff, because I got to stay grounded. Thursday is going to be gym again, then go to work, and then Friday Is going to be my afternoon walk, like monday. Saturday is free, probably time I spend with my little grandbaby you know, my little pudems and then on sunday, same routine of worshiping, getting the word in me, filling back up, okay. So sundays and wednesday is going to be the times that I fill back up, because I'm gonna need that, because generally On mondays and tuesdays, thursdays and fridays I give, now I do my meditation every day, at least do 10 minutes, 15 minutes, maybe sometimes 30 minutes every day. Anyway, I think I'm starting to get addicted to meditation. But anyway, ride with me, y'all go with me, okay, so what I'd like for you to do?

Speaker 1: 13:27

I went on to google and I found Another word for new beginnings is what I looked up, okay. So three words Jumped out at me, just so you know. Okay, so One was called Renaissance, which means a new beginning or rebirth. Okay, the next word that jumped out at me was renaissance. The definition of renaissance is a rebirth or revival, especially of something Prelevant from the past. A revival or rebirth, the period during which someone or something flourishes or is at their peak, a Revitalizing surge of energy that brings new life, vigor and a renewal sense of enthusiasm. I like that, guys. That sounds more like what I want to call my calendar and what I'm going through.

Speaker 1: 14:36

And then the last word that I looked up, which was reached out as out at me as well, was restoration the act of restoring something to a former or original condition, the reinstatement of a previous practice, right or situation, the return of something, especially something lost or stolen, to its proper owner. Listen, guys, this is what stood out to me. Think about this for a moment. The return of something. The return of something, especially something lost or stolen, to its proper owner. Now, the reason why this stood out to me was because I feel like I'm returning back to my creator, what the world had started to change me into, and I always tell y'all I want to change the world. I don't want the world to change me and make me to someone that I'm not. So for me, I feel like I'm returning back to my creator. The return of something, especially something lost. I felt like I was lost. Y'all. I was lost out here in the world. You know how they say you was lost. Now you found I believe that definitely that's something I'm going through or stolen. I always feel like the devil and stole a lot of my life and me living in my flesh and not doing right that I felt like you know, things were stolen from me. But two is proper owner. The proper owner is God, our creator. So that's why that stood out to me, guys, the return of something especially.

Speaker 1: 16:21

I think I might just call my calendar and this whole spiritual journey restoration, because I believe this is a season of healing and restoration. I really do, but I'm gonna think about it, because I don't know which one I'm gonna name. It's between restoration and renaissance, definitely. But listen, let me say this I would like for you guys to do me a favor and look up another word for new beginnings for yourself. And there's a lot of words in here, believe it or not. I was surprised, actually, that, like reconstruction, rebuilding, redevelopment, repairing, make a makeover, revamp it was so many words. So what I'd like for you to do is look up another word for new beginnings and think about your life and what you've been through, making a decision and choice to be the best version of you. You can be the new you and name it, name your journey, whatever you feel like it matches or you relate to or whatever resonates with you. That's what you do. Choose that name. That's a start.

Speaker 1: 17:39

And then I would like for you to take whatever time you can for yourself as a routine. Take that time just for you. I don't care, you know, if you meditate, if you praying, if you singing some music songs or something, or dancing for 10 minutes, working out, taking a walk, whatever it is, whatever brings your heart joy. That's what you do. Write it down on the calendar. This is what I'm doing and stick to that schedule. Okay, cause that's something for you. You give to the job. You give it to everybody else. It's time for you to give something to you.

Speaker 1: 18:18

Then, when you get paid, I would like for you to go out and do something special for yourself, or buy yourself something special, now, nothing expensive, just something small, something you really enjoy doing. Whatever feels you're a little hard, okay, go out there and you can take yourself out to dinner. You can take yourself to a movie, netflix and chill, get your snacks, you know, just some time just for you, whatever it is, just treat yourself on the weekend when you get paid, whatever it is, it doesn't have to be the whole weekend, but I believe that it's really important for us to go back to the root of that thing that first infected us. We go back and heal it, forgive, let it go, cause when you forgive people for what they've done, it's for you, it's really for you. You're forgiving them so that you don't hold on to it. Cause, remember, this ease is going to cause disease in your body. If you hold grudges and if you hold in all that mess and that anger and bitterness, it's filling your, your, your spirit up with poison which is going to turn into disease or heart attack, a stroke, aneurysm, um, cancer, okay. So get rid of all of that mess. Heal If you have to go to therapy, if you got to pray more and go to therapy, whatever it is you have to do.

Speaker 1: 19:49

Mental health is so important. I want to stress, I can't stress that enough. I want to stress that to you, mental health is so important. To take care of you. Self love, self care. Set boundaries, even if you have to disconnect yourself from negative people, toxic people. You don't owe nobody nothing. You owe yourself first. So I want you to take care of you.

Speaker 1: 20:13

Make a decision, make a choice. Get that calendar out. Write down each day that you do something for yourself. When you get paid, take yourself out to dinner, date yourself, do something just for you. Buy yourself something nice I don't care if it's a fragrance, a candle, something. Take a hot bubble bath during the week, in the middle of the week, one day, just whatever. It is, something just for you and love on you for a change. Know that you are important, know that you are of love, know that you are of value. You are worthy.

Speaker 1: 20:51

Stop going along just to get along. Do for once what's best for you, so that you're not drained and tired of going to the job and you're getting upset with the kids and you're getting mad with the coworkers or you're getting mad with the family and you'd rather do tell somebody off and go away. Tell somebody off and go off on people. Fill yourself up, because nine times out of 10 you're empty and you can't give from an empty cup. It's going to frustrate you, it's going to stress you out, you're going to be pissed off, you're going to have a bad attitude. So have the attitude of gratitude. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not promised. Live for today, in the moment. Stop rushing the week and hurrying up to get to Friday. Can't wait till it's Friday. Can't wait till the weekend. You're missing whatever the lesson is.

Speaker 1: 21:50

The lessons are in the lessons, but you got to get the lessons and Realize and understand what God is trying to teach you in these moments. Even the times where it doesn't feel good. Usually those are the times that he's teaching us most. He's teaching us in those moments that we feel uncomfortable, and sometimes we feel uncomfortable. He pushes us and tries to move us because we'll stay, you know, comfortable. We don't want to Change. We don't like change. You know we used to a certain routine or the norm. Receive it, submit to the process of it all. Stop fighting the process, stop getting mad every time you know God does something you don't like or something in your life happens where you feel like, oh, it's the devil. Sometimes it's not the devil.

Speaker 1: 22:43

Sometimes is God trying to Propel you, he's trying to graduate you and have you move on to the next level of life, because the old person you used to be won't be able to handle the position when he's positioning you in the future, where he needs to take you to, because I know I ain't the same person I used to be ten years ago, but the person I am now, what he's transforming into, I'm ready for, or Whatever it is he's gonna give me in this, in this season. I'm ready right now. I'm ready for that promotion, I'm ready for his favor, I'm ready for whatever the reward is. I'm ready for ten years. Nope, now, After everything I've been through in the last five, ten years, definitely because my mindset is different, I move different. So I would like for you guys to just just take he, you know, listen to what God is speaking through me right now to you Because it's gonna transform your life. It's gonna make you feel so much better because you have to balance out work life. It's so important to love on you so you can be better and other healthier and have a healthy relationship. Move forward into your purpose.

Speaker 1: 24:13

I Know right now that a lot of you guys are so passionate about Something and you don't know what to do, where to go, where God is taking you. You feel confused because you got to work and take care of the kids but you don't have enough time to really work on your project or work on your business or work on wherever it is that you're most passionate about doing it. Sometimes we're scared to leave our jobs, to step out on faith, you know, and try something different. If God is pushing you and you're so miserable at one place and you just tired of being sick and tired, generally that's when God is trying to move you. But you got to have faith enough to know that you may fall but you may land. Okay, so Just believe, have faith, trust in God, trust in the process. Just know that you might be going through something today, but tomorrow the sun will shine again. The storm might be today, but tomorrow the sun is gonna shine. You just don't know when that moment is.

Speaker 1: 25:26

For me, it took about a year and a half to two years For God to teach me patience, for me to sit still and really trust in him and give it all up to him. Now, understand, it's kind of like somebody driving and you blindfolded. Well, god is driving, I'm blindfolded, I don't know where this journey gonna go will take me, but I know that he's not gonna. He brought me this far to leave me all. He hasn't brought you this far to leave you and let you down. Okay, so trust in the process, make that calendar name Whatever your spiritual journey is right now by going and Google looking up another word for new beginnings Title that I Love you guys so much. Thank you.

Speaker 1: 26:16

If you have anything that you want to respond with where there's a comment or questions or anything at all, definitely email me at pot. I'm gonna say podcast Jesus, help me. Free concepts podcast at gmailcom. Thank you so much for listening to. Free concepts unmasked. That's what we're doing. We're trying to unmask, speak our truth and Get out of this bondage that we're in.

Speaker 1: 26:46

Shackles broken. Generational curses are broken. Bondage is broken. I claim it right now, in the name of Jesus, over your lives, over your children's lives, your grandbaby's lives. I Cancel it out, I cancel the devil out, in the name of Jesus, that no weapon formed against you shall prosper. You're gonna get through this, but you have to love you first. Heal those old wounds, hug the little girl, a little boy inside of you. Let them know that you got them. You got this. I got confidence in you. I know you can do this. Okay, all right now. So I'm gonna see you next week, tune in and we're gonna see what God has, what word he has to give through me to you. Thank you guys, so much for listening and thanks again for your support. Have a wonderful, wonderful week and I'll see you back here next week.