Ever wondered how celebrity couples like Jada and Will Smith manage their relationships under the harsh glares of public scrutiny? We've got a captivating conversation for you, shining a light on the complexities of love and judgment in relationships and how they're magnified in the public eye. With compassion and understanding, we unpack the reality behind the perfect social media personas, reminding listeners that every long-term relationship has its share of highs and lows.
As we detangle this intricate web, we turn our focus to the importance of therapy and healing before diving into marriage. We'll share insights into why it's crucial to repair our broken pieces before embarking on a shared journey. Lastly, we will get into how the journey of self-love shapes our ability to love others, breathing life into the belief that we cannot pour from an empty cup. Join us on this enlightening adventure as we navigate life with love, compassion, and self-improvement.
Ever wondered how celebrity couples like Jada and Will Smith manage their relationships under the harsh glares of public scrutiny? We've got a captivating conversation for you, shining a light on the complexities of love and judgment in relationships and how they're magnified in the public eye. With compassion and understanding, we unpack the reality behind the perfect social media personas, reminding listeners that every long-term relationship has its share of highs and lows.
As we detangle this intricate web, we turn our focus to the importance of therapy and healing before diving into marriage. We'll share insights into why it's crucial to repair our broken pieces before embarking on a shared journey. Lastly, we will get into how the journey of self-love shapes our ability to love others, breathing life into the belief that we cannot pour from an empty cup. Join us on this enlightening adventure as we navigate life with love, compassion, and self-improvement.
Hello everyone. Welcome to Free Concepts. Thank you for joining us and listening. We have your host, of course, shaniqua. We also have our co-host, today, d. Hello everybody. Yes, thank you guys. We are climbing the charts, streaming on all podcast apps. So we appreciate you and your support. So thank you once again. And I know you said you weren't feeling that well, you know you have slight headache, but I am going to start with the prayer and then I'll discuss the topic and start off.
Speaker 1:Okay, we're good, father, god, in the name of Jesus, god, we thank you, god. We thank you God for all things. God, we thank you for the things that are coming for us right now. God, the breakthroughs are here, god, bondage is broken, generational curse is broken, shackles broken. In the name of Jesus, god, god, we ask that you touch the people that are listening. Give us a word to say that we'll be able to change their lives. Lord, we thank you, god. We ask for healing powers, father God, through D and myself, and to just be able to discuss you and help people to understand that you are love, just love, and God. We just thank you for the opportunity. We lift you up with the highest praise, thanking you for your grace, your mercy and forgiveness. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen, amen. Okay, so I want to. I guess the topic today will be judgments or judging.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I wanted to talk about how we are so easily distracted by things or by people and their relationships, and how we pass judgment on people's marriages, especially celebrities, and I want to kind of speak a little bit on Jada and Will, or the Jada and Wills of the world. I want people to understand that when people share their lives with you, as she did with the red table, it was for educational purposes, to be able to help you along your journey by speaking her truths, same thing that D and I do, and so millions others that try to speak their truth to help others. And it's really sad that we get to a place that if our expectations or if those people aren't meeting our expectations anymore, that we tear them down and we trash them, and I want us to start giving the same grace as God gives us. You know, nobody's perfect. We're all on this journey together and my path may not look like yours, but at the end of the day, it's not for me to judge.
Speaker 1:I just want to love you right where you are, and I believe that's how God does us. He loves us right where we are. He's designed us and created us, so it's already written. He already knows what we're going to do and the test that we overcome and so forth, you know. So he's with us along on the journey and I would like for us to just start having more compassion for people, because you know like who's going to laugh and joke about somebody's divorce or separation, especially when they have children as well, you know that are involved. What do you think about the whole Jato wheel situation? As much as you have heard or watched streaming.
Speaker 2:I just think that their business is their business, and I know that they put it out there again, just what you said everybody love language is different. Everybody's marriage is different to everybody and I believe that's the problem with society. Everybody thinks it should be one way, this should be this way, this should be that way, and if you don't do this this way, in this way and that way, then everybody has a pain on everything, which is everybody's right to have a pain. But, as you said before, if you're rocking with somebody, then rock with them. Don't tear them down, because their love language doesn't look like what your love language looks like.
Speaker 2:You know, and everybody have problems and when people married and how they deal with it in their ways, it's their business and I thank God that will stood up for her and came in her defense and said you know, this is us, unapologetically, you know sloppy, unconditional love and, like he said, that's what we have unconditional love. And whether they choose to stay married or they choose to, you know separate and stay married and live their separate lives. Like you know, divorce is nobody's business and the fact that, like you said, they're putting it out there just because they want to, because so many people have, as you said before and talked about them and talked about he's doing this and she doing that and he she's disrespecting him. And you know what I'm saying? As humans, we all make mistakes, we all fall short and there's no perfect marriage. There's no perfect, I don't care how good it looks on social media.
Speaker 2:Social media where everybody portrays oh, we're so happy, so this is so great. If you're married for a long percent of a time, you're going to grow and be evolving together and you're going to change and you're going to have your ups, you're going to have your downs. Like for instance, I watched the show I don't know.
Speaker 2:I know you've watched it before a couple episodes of Black Love and they talk about their marriages and the ups and downs and the things that you go through, and it's just the point blank. If you're going to do something with somebody and you love them and you want to share that, like she wanted to share, like you said, the red table was something where she could help people and give people an outlet to speak about things they would probably not have spoke about. You know what I'm saying and, just to be you know, her daughter and her mom that sit there and, you know, be a comfort to people that's going through things that want to put stuff out there. Either you know I'm saying enjoy them, but don't tear them down because they're doing something and you're not doing something. So don't tear them down for what they're saying and what they're sharing with you. Either I, you know, I believe in the quote if you don't have nothing good to say, don't say nothing at all.
Speaker 2:I was just going to say that Are so judgmental nowadays that they feel like they have a right to judge people. And we're not here to judge, like you said, we're here to love. God is love, so we should be loved. If we're not loving or uplifting somebody, then we shouldn't tear them down. And that just goes back to what we talked about last week. You know, you, you, you, that that anger, that because you're unhappy in your situation, then you want to put that off on them.
Speaker 2:But if they're living their life and, like you know, everybody was saying oh, she dog will allow blah, blah, blah. But he said it himself, he already knew about it, so he wouldn't have got on the rear table and he was doing stuff to the fat and he spoke up in his book and said you know, I did my dirt too, so stop tearing her down.
Speaker 2:It says everybody just want to pick apart people, and that's what I do not like in social media that you, you know. Even off somebody's comment, like you're judging people, you're tearing them down. If that's what they tell you, you don't like it, then get off their page. You don't have to leave a comment If you don't agree then don't agree.
Speaker 2:Just go to the next person, go to the next comment. You know it's like, and I know we all have freedom of speech, but I mean at what point? Who, who, who made you the boss of the judge, of anybody? You know what I'm saying God gives us all free will.
Speaker 1:So exactly, exactly. And you know we mess up all the time. We make mistakes, and that's. You know how we learn. You know we make mistakes in order to be better, to do better and not repeat the same mistakes. And it this is the thing Women cheat, men cheat.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying. We always try to say, oh, all men or all women, you know, or we try to put people in a box. It's the individual. You have some men that are cheat. You have some women that you know, don't? You know I mean cheat as well.
Speaker 1:It just depends on the situation you know, in their marriage. And you know I respect people that love each other enough to want to heal, to want to grow and change and find out what it is that you want. A lot of people get divorced because they don't want to do the work, they don't want to find out well, what it is that I'm doing wrong Cause then you have to take accountability, or what is it that I could be doing better? And I think if we communicated that and we were more honest in our relationships, cause you so what? You might have a relationship that somebody's been together from 25 to 40 years, but at the end of the day, are they happy for those 24 years? Even I think Michelle Obama said that she was. She would yeah, for 10 years. Did she Her question?
Speaker 2:I heard and that was amazing for her to say that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:How many people look up to her. But for her to encourage to speak like marriage is hard, like it's a couple that they do is called marriage be hard I forgot the name of them. It's a couple that do it and they do interviews and interview married couples, but it's not easy. It's not easy cause it's two different people, but we're all different, we're built different, we're ways different and then you come in as one and you pose to be as one. But that's a journey. Like TeeDee Jake said, marriage take, a wedding take 30 minutes, but marriage takes 30 years.
Speaker 2:You just gotta be willing to put into work. If you're not, like you said, you know, let go of the person.
Speaker 1:So that you can get separated.
Speaker 2:bro, If you love somebody enough, you let them go. You don't want to hold them hostage because you're insecure that you may not be able to find somebody else. Or you feel like you don't want them with nobody if it's not you and they can't, I don't want them to be with nobody else, so I'm gonna just say I'm not going to you know, oh, you know, it's all about love at the end of the day, Love, I mean, that's what we're missing in this world love.
Speaker 2:We just to reiterate that God is love. God is a God of love. He put us there to love and grow and heal and rebuild and elevate and motivate and activate.
Speaker 1:You know, it's not each one Absolutely.
Speaker 2:And if you want to be, negative, then be quiet. That's just my Exactly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you don't have nothing nice to say, then you'll need to say nothing at all period.
Speaker 2:That's how I was raised, you know.
Speaker 1:So, like you said, if you're reading or if you see a post, then you just scroll past the post. You don't have to tear them down and beat them up. You know what I'm saying? It's just it's not necessary. We have enough hate in this world. We need to love and come together and, you know, show their compassion and show that.
Speaker 1:I like the fact that you know they not just them, but so many people share their stories and they're authentic and transparent.
Speaker 1:So, because there's so many, like you said, you see posts that everybody acts like they're doing so well and so great in their life and their marriage is so perfect or their relationship, and there's nothing you know such as a perfect relationship or even a perfect person. You know we're changing, like you said, and evolving, and you know we're growing and I might change. Say, if you got together when you were, say, 21, and you were high school sweethearts and everything that you got married, you want different things as the years go on. You don't always want. You're not gonna stay stuck and be the same person that you were when you 21,. When you're now 30, you know you have different goals, you have a different outlook on life and, like you said you know we change and it's enough for you to change. You know, you know just as an individual, and then now you're dealing with someone else, if you're married, you have to then watch them change or kind of like, you know, go along with their change and your change.
Speaker 2:So Right with the journey and it's all about growing and accepting and not and just in my heart, I believe that if you're gonna be with somebody, you should be willing to wanna see them growing the best in them as well as they wanna see that best in you should be reciprocated. You know what I'm saying and you're in this marriage to build and grow, and that's why you know, as we had our relationship on what?
Speaker 1:two weeks to go? Three weeks to go?
Speaker 2:communication about what you find in a mate. You wanna have these discussions before you even get together. Like what is your? Like your religion? What is your? What do you feel about buying a house?
Speaker 1:growing and building. You wanna be on the same?
Speaker 2:yeah, how many kids you know you should be on some type of a same page, or else you shouldn't even be getting married.
Speaker 1:And but a lot of people vary for the long reasons but go ahead, Absolutely, absolutely, I totally agree with that.
Speaker 2:And but as you are married and you guys have, okay, came together and had this and I believe, canceling before you get married therapy canceling do that together and separately, and sometimes you need to do it separately and together, but definitely so you can be on the same page and you have somebody that's you know, you can talk to, that doesn't have anything to lose or gain. So there's a pastor, church, whatever, just therapy before marriage, because I believe that will help a lot of marriages. And I'm just speaking, this is just my opinion that you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2:Because in a marriage, if you don't like change, then you shouldn't get married. Everybody's supposed to change and gonna evolve, and even as your mate grows in and everybody has a chance to change their mind absolutely. You can have yourself in a relationship.
Speaker 1:You know it's a lot of times we imagine what we want in a relationship and we want this person to meet our expectations of what we want or what we envision in our heads, and then, when they don't want to go along with it because they have their own ideas of you know, of what a relationship looks like or a healthy marriage looks like, then you guys are bumping heads, you know, and you're wanting the person to be what you expect them to be for you, but they also have to be who they need to be for God, who God created them to be.
Speaker 1:So I really believe that people need to heal, become whole and then, like you said, have that discussion. If they do get together and then move forward in that direction because two broken people and that's damaged too you're not gonna have a healthy relationship. And then, when you are married and say you're broken, then you have to figure these things out together. You know what I mean. It's like I gotta fix my broken self and you have to fix your broken self, but we're trying to merge together and it's not gonna work, you know.
Speaker 1:Unless you put in the time and effort and, like you said, you need to get therapy to help guide you through that. And you know, pray, our yes, definitely pray. I always believe that a family that prays together stays together. But at the same time, you do need that extra therapy and I know that we were taught, you know, not to get therapy a lot of us in that culture, in our culture but, yeah, we need therapy. We need therapy and there's nothing wrong with it because it's saying you love yourself enough to be able to unpack those things that you have carried along with you throughout the years and you want to heal, which means you want to do better. You want to be the best version that God created you to be, and I think that's a beautiful thing, you know. But we definitely have to have grace with people and stop tearing people down as soon as you get a chance. You know that's just what kind of person you know a miserable person that tears people down for telling their truth, sharing their truths and, like I said before, they even shared anything, or not just them, but any other celebrity or even just people in general. When they share things, it's really too. Like I said, it's to educate you, to help you through your journey, so you don't feel like you're alone and you're. You know a lot of people out here unaliving themselves and because they feel like they're different, they're weird, they don't belong and so forth, and you never know when someone is going through something and what may take them off the edge and that blood is on your hands. You know what I'm saying. If you, you know, judging someone and you talking about them and you adding to the comments to say somebody did unalive themselves, that blood is on your hands, you know. And who wants that kind of karma? And people need to mind a business and do the work on themselves and if they did that, they wouldn't have room to judge anybody else and what they're doing, you know. I think we need to get to that place of doing the work and what either?
Speaker 1:Just being quiet about other people's relationships you know it's their relationship and so many people bashing her about the book and things like that and just it's just terrible. It's not just them, it's. I see this all the time. If anybody's in a relationship, they rock with them at first, as soon as they get in a relationship or as soon as they do something that you don't agree with, and that's another thing. We can agree to disagree. We don't have to hate the person or just talk about them because they don't measure up to what we thought or they don't agree with us and so forth, like now. People are canceling people for just speaking their truth and just living their lives. You know.
Speaker 2:All right, I just believe it all starts. It all goes back to self. If you love yourself and you respect yourself, then you'll respect others, yeah if you're miserable on the inside and you hate it on the inside and you're insecure, and then you take it out on other people. Then that's why this world is so corrupt and just angry.
Speaker 1:Everybody's mad.
Speaker 2:everybody's angry but it's misguided, as our episode before Mm-hmm we spoke about and it's not, and you're taking it out on the wrong people, like like you said I really believe that people are just speaking out to help Not to harm, but to help. They're just and it's just their, their lives and what they've been through, and they're willing to open up and share that, and that takes courage and especially, like you said, with celebrities and just people in general and somebody's willing to open up and share something.
Speaker 2:Don't tear them up. If you don't like what they say, then just turn it off, don't listen or, again, social media stroll past it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, everything for everyone, everybody's different, different folks, different strokes.
Speaker 2:So just let people be free, let people live, just live, lack and love. This world will just be beautiful of Beautiful souls and beautiful people, just just love. This is all about. It all comes down to love and if you love yourself, bottom line, you won't want to tear anybody else down and self care is worth it. Take the time to love you, love yourself and that and again it goes back to so you're gonna be in a relationship with somebody.
Speaker 2:You got to love yourself and this is me speaking, my experience Trying to love other people and and heal them when I'm not even healed myself. So I'm speaking for myself. I'm not telling everybody else what to do, but I'm just saying you got to love yourself. You got to be Encourage yourself and be happy with the end, so you can spread love and not tear it down. And and you also got to love yourself in order to be able to receive love from someone else. Show people how to love you.
Speaker 1:You got to teach people how to treat you if you don't love you, if you don't know you, how do you love you? You know?
Speaker 1:you know a lot of people don't even know who they are. So and I and we're speaking from experience, definitely speaking from experience that I've tried it different ways. You know, I tried Marriages and I try to be single and you know what was best for me and so forth, but it's all what I've learned is that it's how I heal, treat myself. Go within, unpack those things so that I'm able to love someone the way God intended us to love someone. You know, and it's unconditional love. Unconditional means that no, like how we love our children, you know, or Probably love our parents. You know people that, of course, have healthy relationships with their children and parents. But when you that's an unconditional love, my children get on my nerves and I'll talk, john, but at the end of the day I'm a ride or die. For you know I'm saying like, don't play with my kids. You know People with a mama, they don't play with my mama. You know I'm saying we have our ups and downs. I can talk about it, but you can't say nothing about our type of thing. You know what I mean. So, but it's supposed to be unconditional love. You're gonna love them through it all and at the end of the day it's worth it.
Speaker 1:And if you can't, then it's okay to walk away and say you know what? We had a good ride and now you know it's time to go. You know you need to heal. I need to heal, you know, and take care of me. Do some self-care, self-love and and wish them well. You know it shouldn't be any anger and all of that. Now I know we're human now times, especially like when we first get divorced or separated usually you know it's a mixed emotions and all of that. But If you really love the person, you'll come back to love, whether it's a year down a line, two years or whatever. How many years? And especially if you have children together you have to be a good person. Together you have to be able to be adults about things and handle things in a more healthier, appropriate way. And Because you, because you're, teaching those kids.
Speaker 2:What they see, you do, and you know if you're talking about the dad or the mom.
Speaker 1:Are you?
Speaker 2:keeping them away from the dad or the mom, you're hurting a child. Think about the child, put them first, especially Marriage with children. People just food for thought.
Speaker 1:You know I'm saying yeah, cuz you said an example.
Speaker 2:Let them be the judges. They grow older, They'll see whether that parent really loved him or kid or not. They'll see actress me yeah.
Speaker 1:I used to Not because you all would. I used to and I think I shared this with you, with my son's father I would buy Christmas gifts if, even if they didn't get a Christmas gift or if they didn't send a birthday card or, and you know, a birthday gift, I would go ahead and purchase it myself and I will put from you know their dad and the reason why I did it. It wasn't for the dads and cuz people thought I was crazy. It was like girl I'm when, you know. But I did it for my children because I never wanted them to feel like they weren't loved by their fathers or, you know, they didn't think enough of them to to get them something for Christmas or birthdays. You know what I mean and Do. Did I always, you know, like we you know my exes we had some issues, but when it came to our children, we always were cordial and Try to. You know you put on the face, sometimes you put on the mask, but, um, I just thought it was important.
Speaker 1:I never wanted my kids to feel like they weren't loved by their parent. So it's sometimes we just do things for our children to make it easy and better for them and as they got older, you know, they need to talk about their dad's, like they were gold honey, like they were the best thing popping and I knew different. But I was gonna let them just see. You know, I'm saying when they got older, you know, and they saw for themselves, I didn't even have to go into a whole spill of what you know.
Speaker 1:The daddy ain't this, ain't that Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, they figured it out. Did it irk my nerves sometimes? Would they put them on a high pedestal? Yes, but I didn't want to take that away from them. They're joy, you know, and I think that a lot of people should, like you said, just think about your children and especially when children are involved, we need to just not beat up people and talk about because you're talking about somebody's parents, like they're talking about William and Jada, but at the same time that's still Jada and parents Appearance Willow's parents exactly when they see those comments.
Speaker 2:They see it and tearing their mother down under the father like man I just love.
Speaker 1:And they just sharing their story to be able to help people the same way we are. That's why a long time I didn't want to write my book or finish it or even get on here to talk to people about my truth, because I felt like I would be judged. But at the end of the day, I don't care anymore what people think. This was my journey, this is what I went through, and if we could help one person and this is why you're on here as well we could help one person to change their lives for the better and let them know they're not alone, and any encouragement that we give that if it changes someone's life, then that's fine. But at the end of the day, we need to get better with our words, because the power of the tongue is life or death that we speak and we have to be careful and mindful of what we say at our mouths. You know.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely. Like I said, everybody's just got to let each one live.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:Everybody's love language is different. Everybody deserves a chance to love and be who they are without being tore down and at the end of the day, like you said, I'm just saying we don't care what nobody thinks about me as long as I'm doing what God put in my heart to do. If God is for me, who could be against me? Here be a point blank. If people are going to judge you, no matter what you do, whether you do everything for them. You could give them a million dollars, and then they'll still talk.
Speaker 1:They'll say a million five Exactly you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 2:It's never enough. So you know, and even, like you said, with celebrities, they cook, they cook them up, they cook, they brush them up, yep. And then they tear them down as soon as what they don't like.
Speaker 1:And these people paved the way for us. You know, like the opportunities that we didn't have now we do have in acting, production, sports, all kinds of you know, and you're canceling them. Like we need to respect people. I think that's the biggest thing is having respect for someone else. And because a lot of people were saying I don't respect her and this, and that I respect anyone that's going to be honest and authentic and genuine and speak their truths to, because that's not easy.
Speaker 1:It's not easy telling your stories. It's not easy telling the bad, you know it's easy to tell the good, you know. Oh, look at us, we're doing great, you know, and behind closed doors you're miserable. You're fighting, you fuss and cussing, acting crazy, and in front of the children too. And so I respect her to have enough courage to not only about the whole slap, you know, after that instance, then now you know she's coming out with her book and sharing more, like it's not stopping her, she's like you know, this is my story. You know I didn't go through this, you know, in vain. So I have a story to tell and I'm going to tell it, and I think more people need to share their stories and their testimonies of what God has brought them through, to give other people hope as well to get through this journey, because this is tough. You know Life is. It's not easy, but it's definitely worth it if you continue to fight and you continue to go through. You know, whatever God bring you to, he's gonna bring you through amen.
Speaker 1:Anything else you want to say before we Sign off? Just Everybody.
Speaker 2:Just again back to the point. Just love. God is love, be love, give love and Love yourself, love yourself, take time for yourself, get to know you, because you can't love nobody else. If you don't love you, you shouldn't be judging anybody else.
Speaker 1:I mean it's not our job to judge.
Speaker 2:It's our job to live, motivate and educate period. We got to be careful.
Speaker 1:Judging people and saying never. Remember we said that before about when you say never God will put you in a very position or a situation that you said oh, I would never be a stripper, I would never date women, or I would never date, you know, I would never do that with my kids, and so forth. You just never know what position you're in until you're in it and and that's why I'll never say never, no more, because God has always put me in a position oh, you think you're better than them. You know I'm saying, oh, you think that you're better than that. That couldn't happen to you. And then you find yourself in it. You're like oh, wow, and you see things differently when you're in those shoes, you know so, um, yeah, just give people grace, guys. We love you guys so much and we just thank you.
Speaker 1:I know the journey is difficult and I know things change every day, but my advice is to not go against the grain, to just flow, you know, with the water, like the river, just flow with it, don't, you know, because otherwise it's gonna take you a lifetime to get it right if you start just kind of going with the flow Of what God is trying to show you and I know it's uncomfortable because change nobody likes change, but at the end of the day is definitely gonna be worth it. Just, you know love. And another thing stop getting married for for other purposes other than love. You know, not for money, not because she got a fat booty, or because you know he's got this, he's got that, he's got a house, you know, and all of that, the material stuff, you know, because that's not what it's all about in the first place. Really, marriage is supposed to be about being in love, loving someone enough to Go through anything with them. You know so Absolutely live, love, laugh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you everybody for listening.
Speaker 2:And say bless, be blessed. Bread, love and not hate.
Speaker 1:Yes, thank you for that, everyone, have a blessed one. We will see you next Monday and Continue to share and download. If you have any questions or if you have anything we want to. You want us to even read, if you want to Write in to free concepts podcast at gmailcom. Everyone, have a wonderful week. Talk to you soon.