Free Concepts
Join me as I share the secrets of my soul. Sharing very personal stories that I've never shared publicly before in reference to relationships, marriage, divorce, parenting, abuse, and so much more. I am taking my mask off in order to help people grow & navigate through the roller coaster of life, so let's heal, unmask, & unpack together!
Free Concepts
Random Concepts: Navigating Life's Twists
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Ever wondered how it feels to navigate the tumultuous journey of menopause or grapple with the complexity of gender identity? Buckle up as my co-host and I take a deep, personal dive into these seemingly nebulous concepts. We're peeling back the layers of menopause, sharing our intimate experiences, and discussing coping strategies. The hot flashes, the foggy brain, the hormone imbalances - we're talking about it all.
Transitioning to gender identity, we explore our moments of self-realization and the differences we encountered living in various places. Fashion, a judgment-free environment, and how tiny actions can make a world of difference - it's all on the table. We're not just sharing our stories; we're offering you a seat at the table, an opportunity to learn from our journey, and a chance to contribute to the discourse.
Finally, hang on as we journey across states reminiscing about our experiences and how they've shaped us. From the hospitality of Georgia to the bustle of New York, every encounter has left an indelible mark and a story to tell. We delve into power dynamics, monetary influences, and our collective dream for a future steeped in love, peace, and happiness. Life is a wild rollercoaster, and it's alright to stumble. But remember, a breakthrough is often just around the corner. So, join us, let's ride this rollercoaster together, spreading positivity and love one episode at a time.
All right, have a sound.
Speaker 2You're better, it's fine. Welcome to free concepts everyone. We are goofing off right now, so, and that's okay, it's always good to laugh, because laughter is good for the soul. I am your host, shaniqua.
Speaker 1And I am the hello everybody.
Speaker 2I should introduce my co host huh.
Speaker 1Okay, this is a goof off session.
Speaker 2Yeah, this is a goof off session, I guess, listen. So I'm going to pray because I need it, lord knows. I need it right now and I'm telling you, the enemy will try to attack you and attack you and get you off your game and distract you. And I'm telling you, he been wearing me out ever since this podcast started. The enemy has really been fighting me, but I won't give up. Still, I rise Right. Who said that?
Speaker 1Amen, amen, my Angelo.
Speaker 2Yes, okay, we're going to start off with prayer, father God, in the name of Jesus, god, we come to you, lord, and we say thank you, god. Thank you, god, for all that you've done and all that you're about to do, lord, and I'm also grateful, father God, for this podcast to be able to have a platform to share more of you and to heal and get our breakthrough. God. We thank you, god, for everything. There's nothing that we take for granted. We love you, we adore you. We lift you up with the highest praise, thanking you for your grace and your mercy and your forgiveness, always and forever. In Jesus name, we pray Amen, amen. So how are you? Let me ask you a question, because I know a lot of our audience has been asking. You know you're kind of mysterious. I share my introduction, so I would like to ask how old are you?
Speaker 1That's funny, I am 45.
Speaker 2Okay, are you experiencing any type of menopause or change of life?
Speaker 1Yes, I am. Menopause is a mother.
Speaker 2So, okay, well, for me, I'm 49. And I've been going through the change of life as well. I like to say it that way. Menopause is just, I like to say, the change of life. The hot flashes are really kicking my butt, more than anything, because I feel like I'm an oven at 450 degrees. Just all of a sudden, the water that you know sweat starts just kind of pouring off my face and I look crazy out here in these streets and it's like every hour. I heard there was something that you could take and I forgot what it is. I think it's called black cohosh. But the only thing about that, they have those little plastic containers, you know the pills, and that's not good for my stomach. So, and then you have a whole lot of ailments as well besides menopause, the menopause.
Speaker 1Really, he's just going all the way left.
Speaker 2Menopause yeah, they pause because of that menopause, they go this is crazy. Exactly. They see it from a mile away. They see the sweat, like wait a minute, because it's hot in here. She's going through the change of life. Lord, have mercy, I don't know, because my moves they're up and down and all around and I'm just. I don't know what to do with myself Because everything is. You know, this is. It's unbalanced. What about you?
Speaker 1It's chemically unbalanced. That's what it is. Your hormones is decreasing and rage is increasing. That's why it's good that you have an outlet to let it all out. Yes, talk about it, speak about it, because all different kinds of some people, you know, lose, you know train that thought or they might get that's me too, I swear I'm going through dementia. Like you forget things.
Speaker 2It's not just dementia, this is menopause, I promise you.
Speaker 1I promise you it feels like to mention.
Speaker 2No, I'm telling you when I say I got out the shower, got dressed, put my clothes on, was ready to get ready to go out, had to go back in the bathroom for something. I'm texting and I'm forgetting, so I take my clothes back all, get ready to get back in the shower. And this is only like maybe 20 minutes later, and the only reason I didn't get all the way back in the shower I turned the water on and everything is because I touched the mat. The mat was wet and I was like wait a minute.
Speaker 2She's not here anymore, she's in college. So Wait a minute. Did I take a shower, like do I leave my-? Should I talk? What, what, oh Lord? And then I was just like what is going on with my mind. I don't know if we smoke too much back in the day, you know, or if it is the menopause, or if it's from COVID, because they said you would have foggy I guess foggy brain, whatever fog brain that too. See, exactly, I can't. Yeah, it could be.
Speaker 1It could be, all together, it could be a combination Wester things you know.
Speaker 2Yeah, Okay. Well, let me ask you this where are you from? I know where you're from. The audience wants to know. I'm from.
Speaker 1I'm from everywhere.
Speaker 2You can only be from one place. No.
Speaker 1I'm from a military grad, so I'm from everywhere.
Speaker 2Where were you born?
Speaker 1I'm. The longest place I lived is in Cali.
Speaker 2Where were you born?
Speaker 1I was born in the wild, wild west.
Speaker 2I can't, I can't, I can't.
Speaker 1Where were you born? No, I'm look, I was talking, I was asking you Jamaica Queens, new York.
Speaker 2Yes, yes, yes, new York. Of course, ll Cool J Maudu, 56, you know Queens, but I've lived in 10 different states, I think how many did you live in? Because you've lived overseas too.
Speaker 1Yeah, I lived everywhere. I've been around the world.
Speaker 2No, yeah, yeah yeah. I can't find my. Okay, stop. Okay, we can't be clowning too much because I don't know if they're continuing to listen or not. But listen, yeah, out of all the place it is after, okay, after you've lived in all those different places, which one did you like the best?
Speaker 1I love Cali the best because everybody's just was at that time and I was standing there, everybody was just chill. It was no, you know, no trip, no, you know prejudice, none of that. Just chill, just live, laugh, love, let everybody else live, let everybody breathe, you know Be themselves.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was no judgment, you know. Yeah, I can see that.
Speaker 1Like in my community, the LBG CTRF.
Speaker 2It's all you know, wait a minute, hold on, it's LGBTQ.
Speaker 1Plus. We'll just say plus Okay, they've added a lot of more alphabets to it, so I can't. I can't either Shout out to all my community. Yeah. So I didn't have no problem with that, and and but.
Speaker 2when I lived in other states, then you know, you would judge more.
Speaker 1Yeah On the, on the.
Speaker 2South South is special. Well, you know, that's like usually, ignorance, you know it's. And I'm not saying the South is ignorant, ignorant, is just not knowing. All right, but, yeah, I had, I had, yeah, my, my, my disclosure, my disclaimer is it disclosure, disclaimer? See, it's the ball. I'm telling you, it's the brain fog, it's the cement of all.
Speaker 2Okay, it's that one. So we don't offend anyone because we love everyone, and that's really the God honest truth we love everyone. Yeah, we ain't here to judge, but listen. So when did you know that you were different? When did you know?
Speaker 1I was different Like.
Speaker 2I was a student. Not a student.
Speaker 1Listen, listen I know that I was a lesbian.
Speaker 2Yes.
Speaker 1In the second grade I had a girlfriend.
Speaker 2I had a girlfriend in the second grade.
Speaker 1This is interesting.
Speaker 2Okay, please go on, do tell, do tell.
Speaker 1No, seriously, I did. I had a girlfriend in second grade. That's how far back I could remember when I knew I liked girls. There was nothing there for dudes, just homies. It was like homies Okay. Okay.
Speaker 2Yeah. Okay, so basically my whole life is. You know, the whole life is what.
Speaker 1Yeah. No I was saying basically my whole life, Like I've been this way, you know.
Speaker 2I feel like I was born this way. Yeah.
Speaker 1That's how I feel, you know, because since second grade you know yeah, first first grade, you know that's pretty early on I remember back, but yes, yeah.
Speaker 2I remember back in the day, you know, I was so strange about myself. Is that maybe I might have been by back in the day Only because? No, because this is the thing I never looked at anyone sexually, you know, but I just I don't know if it's just loving. You know people's styles because I used to look at the ladies in the church. I know this.
Speaker 1That's sitting out loud. Oh Lord.
Speaker 2That's not what I meant, Listen listen, I know what you meant Okay, but the ladies in the church, you know they would be dressed up in their nice dress suits and you know they would have the nice hat on matching. You know they might have on a whole turquoise outfit with the hat with a little pink feather and the stockings, and they would even glitter a little bit, you know. And nice.
Speaker 2Yeah, you know, beautiful women smell good and men. You know, when I'm in I didn't look at men, boys. It's really weird. I don't look at the women but I don't look at the boys. I mean men, I look at boys and I liked boys also. I was boy crazy back in the day, so it just had to add that I was just like, oh he, cute. You know, or actually you know what a lot of them weren't cute. I just liked.
Speaker 2I found some that I liked about them and I just went with it you know, like if they had nice nice smile disclaimer, thank you or a nice eyes, thick eyelashes sometimes, or eyebrows or I don't know, built, maybe it depends. I guess what day it was, I guess it depended. But if you like me, I liked you too. Like I didn't have boundaries, I didn't know to not. Just they would say will you be my girlfriend? Check yes or no. And I was just flattered to get it. So I'm like oh, you know, isn't that sweet? And I check yes with sucker.
Speaker 2Sucker, yeah, it'll last a week maybe, or something, cause I had a little boyfriend that I got in trouble with and that was because he would give me money. He gave me a dollar for lunch and I brought it back to home and I think I had a little bear too. It gave me and my grandma was like, where'd you get that dollar from? And I was like a friend at school and then somebody said I don't know if it was Fay or whoever it was like her boyfriend, and I was like huh, huh, huh, I don't have a boyfriend. She was like no man wants anything. What? Anything for free or something, I don't know. He's gonna want something, basically, and I'm like we don't need a full grade, like a full I think it was full grade. I'm like what can?
Speaker 2he want grandma, exactly Like it's for my lunch, you know, to get an ice cream if I like, you know. But she wasn't having it. She told me to give him his dollar back when I go back to school the next day and she called the school, told the principal that this little boy was giving me money. Like you would have thought, that dollar was like $10,000. You know what I'm saying. Like I can't get no ice cream, grandma. Like gosh, you know, she want me to sell them.
Speaker 1She's latched them out, huh.
Speaker 2Yes, and then the principal called him in the office and gave him a spanking.
Speaker 1Oh no.
Speaker 2With the paddle.
Speaker 1He was in that era where y'all got spanked.
Speaker 2I think that missed my mind.
Speaker 1He got a paddle.
Speaker 2I don't remember recall From giving me a dollar. I was in the office. We grew up in the era of stitches. I mean snitches, get stitches. So nowadays, nowadays, people snitching on everybody. I'm like where's your integrity, Where's the loyalty, Where's the you know? Like they just snitching, Telling lies.
Speaker 1This is the society that we in. It's all about self self preservation and selling, selling.
Speaker 2It's all about the money. You know they don't tell anything for a book.
Speaker 1Right.
Speaker 2I ain't selling my soul to the. I ain't doing that. I ain't got me either. But anyway, going back to the dating rooms and school, Loose lip-shaking ships. Oh, definitely, but I feel like I don't know. I had a lot of boyfriends growing up. They only lasted for a few days. A week, a few weeks, how?
Speaker 1many did you have? They had no more.
Speaker 2Did you have?
Speaker 1I didn't have no boyfriend.
Speaker 2I mean girlfriends. You already made that clear, so I don't know I had a couple.
Speaker 1but not like that, I'm not like, like, like you.
Speaker 2Because you know what, back in the day, though it probably, you probably didn't want to have one publicly because of the judgments. You think like maybe say fifth, say if you, you know, say sixth grade. You just not like you, were you walking around with a girl holding hands. I don't think you could do that back in the day. I mean you could, but I mean I did I mean?
Speaker 1everybody knew I was a lesbian. They knew I was gay and it wasn't you know, nobody never said nothing to my face. But my friends would come and tell me oh, somebody said you were sick and so and so said you couldn't help them and all this stuff. But nobody never came to my face because I was the person that beat up the bullies.
Speaker 2So they were scared to say it to my face. You would have beat them up. Yeah, but I didn't.
Speaker 1Once after, like elementary, I really didn't have no date, nobody. And then when I was, what about prom In junior high? I mean in high school, in junior high I was I dated older women. They weren't in school, no more. I liked older women. I didn't date with people my age.
Speaker 2You were women, you were a high school and you dated older women.
Speaker 1In junior high I started dating older women.
Speaker 2Like okay, so you were in junior high school a junior Eight ninth grade. Eight, ninth grade yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no. 9th grade is high school, no 7th and 8th. 7th and 8th 7th, and that's middle school.
Speaker 1One of the school I went to was 7th and it by itself. And then, yeah, 8th and 9th grade and then when I went to the 10th because I was in Florida, then Wait, no, hold, don't keep talking, Wait back up.
Speaker 2You said on 8th grade. You said 8th grade is middle school, 7th, yeah that's what I said In middle school.
Speaker 1in 8th grade I was dating an older woman.
Speaker 2How much older, if you don't mind me asking.
Speaker 1Well, she was like 20.
Speaker 2Wait a minute, jesus. Okay. So 7th, 8th grade is like what age? That's like 12, right?
Speaker 113 and 12, yeah 11, 12, 13.
Speaker 2Yeah, cause I was 13 and the 9th. Okay, so 12,. You were 12 in 8th grade and you were talking to a 20 year old.
Speaker 1Yeah, I like older women.
Speaker 2Okay, now that I'm older, I know that didn't sit well right, but then yeah, that's kind of like yeah, but no, you know what? And there's no judgments here, cause let me tell you I did the same thing. I did not that old though that's old, that's too old. Mine was a little more like 16 dating someone. No, cause, little, I ain't gonna mention the name.
Speaker 1Okay, let me Please don't say nobody's name.
Speaker 2They don't wanna get nobody to discover. He was a dancer of a rapper and he later came out with, you know, his own album or song. But he was Now think about it I think I was like 14 or 15 maybe in New York and he was had to be like 20.
Speaker 1So you're exactly. It's the same difference.
Speaker 2No, no, no, it's not because yours was like 1112.
Speaker 1No, I was 1213. I was getting ready to go in the ninth grade.
Speaker 2I was 15 now, that's a big difference. It's like I'm almost wrong.
Speaker 1No, no, no, you weren't.
Speaker 2Okay, okay, moving right along yeah.
Speaker 1Right, that was just yeah.
Speaker 2Okay, so name at least three of the states that you actually lived in and that you remember Well. Besides and that's not a state, but I'm just saying I think it's good to know that you lived in Germany.
Speaker 1Yeah, Germany.
Speaker 2Yes, you will round it yeah.
Speaker 1And Cali Vegas.
Speaker 2Okay, okay, okay, okay. Those are a few. So you did mostly West Coast basically.
Speaker 1What'd you say? I lived in Chicago for a little bit.
Speaker 2Oh, okay.
Speaker 1And Georgia, unfortunately for a little bit.
Speaker 2Okay, we are not. We might have some Georgia listeners.
Speaker 1I'm just playing, as this is not my type of height, but no.
Speaker 2I don't like Georgia either when I first moved here, so I think this is just from my experience and my perception A lot of people seem like they were just I want to say fake that's not the word I want to use but kind of like you know how you'll befriend people, just so that you can get ahead and you know. It's more like they only want to be around. People that they know this look kind of like doing something in a sense, and some of them even tell tales about doing stuff as far as like production or they are in theater or you know they have their own businesses and things like that Superficial.
Speaker 1There it is.
Reflection on Experiences and the World
Speaker 2Yeah, that's the word, and it's and I'm not saying that's like the George, the Georgia, the people that are basically raised here in Georgia or, you know, were born here. I think it's maybe a lot of people from other states that have migrated here in Georgia. Yeah, that might be it, but what was your thoughts when you first moved to Georgia? Oh, you know why didn't you?
Speaker 1I just didn't like it. I just didn't like it. A lot of people in and like going to the restaurant. They would be rude. Oh yeah, Like the service. Yeah, so uh, yeah, I just had a lot of bad experiences there, but I did have a good experience there. I should say I did. Yeah change my life.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1I met my you better go.
Speaker 2Hey girl, oh my gosh my wife ex-wife there. Oh, wow, do tell.
Speaker 1No, no, don't tell yeah, we're gonna Okay, so it was a good experience and it was a bad. Yeah, I had some good. You know it's not all bad, it was just not my cup of tea. I love the West best.
Speaker 2I think, because you had something else to compare it to and for me, because I've lived in, you know, eight, nine other states, that I had something to compare it to as well. And I really enjoyed living in Baltimore, maryland, because I moved from Baltimore to Atlanta and I experienced the same thing. People were really rude. That's kind of why I got away from New York, you know, because a lot of people were rude, they didn't really speak and I had moved to North Carolina when I was younger, so I really enjoyed their hospitality and they just made you feel like family. You know, they were very down to earth and I enjoyed those experiences there. And I'm growing up there in North Carolina because I moved there from New York when I was five and then my grandmother and I went home every summer and Christmas to New York and so it was basically just to have me in school there so I could gain, you know, values, morals, respect those type of things and but so what were your three favorite?
Speaker 1so Baltimore was on.
Speaker 2Yes, definitely. I was always very successful in Baltimore with apartments or homes and jobs, employment. But I would say, besides Baltimore, north Carolina, that feels more like home to me, I think, than anywhere else. I think that's where I go to get my peace of mind when I'm going through it. And then our family, you know, like their graves are there. I'm the ones that have passed away, so I'll go to the grave site and I'll sit and talk to my grandmother, excuse me. So I think that that's one of them. And let me see, I really enjoyed Florida as well. It was small. I didn't like their ways, you know, so to speak, it was more white than blacks and it wasn't enough diversity for me. I think that's the only thing I didn't like, but the weather. We met some really cool people, decent experiences. But I don't know if I would choose that one as my next one, though, like I don't know, I think it's really North Carolina and Baltimore.
Speaker 1So just two out of the ten.
Speaker 2Yeah, I really think so. I hate to say that, um, atlanta, I mean it's, it's good because they have some really nice people here as well. But I think a lot of people are on edge and they're mad and upset and angry about a lot of things that has been going on and which is understandable. The world has changed so much in the last five years, I would say, you know, maybe more so a lot of people on edge and they're getting snappy and I'm trying to hold my composure and not let the bees come out, don't poke the bees out of hibernation.
Speaker 2Don't poke the bees out of hibernation because people don't understand that I am healing. I am not healed because you know, I mean it takes time and I might just, you know, revert back and I don't want to do that. So I treat people with respect and I expect to be treated. You know the same.
Speaker 1But that should be a given. You know people should you know be respectful of others, and I think that's what's added on to all this war and craziness in the world. It's like people don't respect other people.
Speaker 2No it's about power and money, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1And in the root of all the ball yes.
Speaker 2It's about power, money. They don't care about people. People there's. There's not a love for people anymore, and unity and peace.
Speaker 1It's just so much. Destruction.
Speaker 2It's like the world is headed for self destruction. You know like that.
Speaker 1You know it's sad, you know.
Speaker 2It's sad that we can Walk over someone that's homeless, you know, and act like they don't exist. It's sad when we just cannot communicate and Agree to disagree. You know it shouldn't be any hate, it shouldn't be any racism. You know we're all different. Every individual is different. You can't even put people in a group and say all white people do this, so all black people are like this. Or all Gays, you know, are like this, you know, or whatever. You can't put people in a box. Everyone is different. We're all men and all women are like. You know. We can't keep putting people on a box, you know.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, yeah, because God made us all different back to the to the handprint.
Speaker 2We all have different, but at the same time we're all connected.
Speaker 1So if one person hurts somebody like we said before having a bad day, and then that person goes and does it to someone else, it's a domino effect and we're all connected. So if we spread love and joy and more peace and happiness, then it can be, you know, abundance of the world of love, peace and happiness, instead of that anger and raw. You know what I mean and just you know.
Speaker 2Yes, a lot going on right now, everything since since COVID-2 and All of the injustice has been going on. But with COVID, when it came, I think people really had to start living with people that they didn't they didn't want to live with like oh yeah, that's a big topic right there, that's.
Speaker 1To talk about that's a whole nother Destroyed a lot of marriages. That wasn't Because you know people were working, and when you start working in the house together, who? Who is this person like?
Speaker 2So, you're with them then 24 hours a day, literally, you know, and then it and then it made some.
Speaker 1At the same time it made some marriages better because people to get time together and they missed each other. So when they got to spend that time and even thought about, because a lot of people were afraid they were gonna die, so it made them, you know, love on their loved ones more, you know. So at the same time is kind of a catch, and you know, it's like kind of in that, yeah, catch 22 in the middle.
Speaker 2But that's a good topic. We need to. We need to definitely discuss that because I think you know it changed our lives and it scared a lot of people and it put people in positions that they didn't want to be in as far as jobs and so forth to.
Speaker 1And it also blessed a lot of people to be entrepreneurs and work for that. Oh yeah definitely that's.
Speaker 2I believe the guy really had us sit down for reasons, so that we could go within and find out what our gifts and passions were, and to tap into that and taking some so here, I'm self-care, yes, but a lot of people, of course, didn't Do that.
Speaker 2They want to still be around others, and you know, because they can be by themselves. And that goes back to you know, a lot of people when you, they don't love themselves, they don't want to be with themselves. You know they always want to have people around all the time, and so you know, we definitely that's a good topic to discuss, but this was our random thoughts, random thoughts.
Speaker 2Yes, podcast. So if you have any questions or if you want to write in and tell your story or your testimonies, please email us at free concepts with an s podcast and gmailcom. I am your host again, shaniqua, and our co-host is Dean. Is anything you would like to end with before we leave Everybody's for listening.
Speaker 1We appreciate it and just stay best. Be blessed and spread love and not hate. Be best. I Said be blessed. Okay, I may have slipped up my bad. Thank you for the correction.
The Power of Sharing Personal Stories
Speaker 2You're more than welcome. But yeah, I, um, yeah, I want to thank everyone too. It's been really fun. I'm enjoying the ride and sharing our stories and we're gonna get deeper into our stories and our lives. So definitely continue to listen and it's not just telling about ourselves, but for you guys to be able to relate and see a lot of our stories, kind of you know, to change the what, the narrative of their lives sometimes.
Speaker 1Absolutely just a helping uplift, you know.
Speaker 2I think when we share our story, we went through stuff it may help somebody that's going through it right now you know like when we share our stories.
Speaker 1They may be going through what we've been through. Exactly for help, so that's all we want?
Speaker 2Yeah, and just let you know that you're not alone. We all go through stuff. We all make mistakes, and it's okay to make mistakes because that's how we learn. We have to learn these lessons in life and they're gonna be many more tests to come, but you can do it. You know, if we can do it, you can do it, and we've been going through this. What for years, dubs the downs, you know just life's journey, the roller coaster of life. So Thank you again so much. Hang in there, know that your breakthrough is right around the corner, but just Submit surrender to the process and know that you'll come out on the other side. So put some smiles on your face, be kind to someone and Love yourself. Give yourself a hug. You deserve it. Okay, you got anything else? What are we doing? Are you done? Hello, are you done?
Speaker 2Okay, blessings have a blast one y'all bye.