Journey of Faith: Bridging the Gap from Church Hurts to Healing

Episode 1: Ever felt the sting of judgment or the cold shoulder of discrimination within the walls of what should be your place of solace? We know that pain too. Join us as we uncover our personal 'church hurts' - the times when we felt marginalized and unwelcome in our own spiritual homes. We'll discuss how negative encounters can lead people away from church, and more importantly, away from God, while emphasizing the real purpose of a church - a sanctuary, a haven of unconditional love, fellowship, and healing.

Moving forward, we'll dive into the transformative power of grace within the church community. Drawing from our own experiences, we'll unfold how the warm embrace of grace can uplift spirits and mend hearts. Guided by the teachings of the Bible, we'll remind you of the importance of treating one another with compassion and understanding - because everyone is deserving of love and acceptance, irrespective of their background or identity. Don’t miss out on this heartfelt exploration of hurt, healing, acceptance, and grace. Together, let’s embark on a journey towards understanding and healing.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Hello and welcome to Free Concepts everyone. I am your host, shaniqua, and we have our co-host today, dee Say hello.

Speaker 2: 0:12

Hello everyone.

Speaker 1: 0:14

So we're going to go ahead and our topic for today will be church hurts, and we're going to begin with prayer and we're going to have you start us off with prayer.

Speaker 2: 0:24

Okay, here we go. Heavenly Father, we come to you through your Son, jesus, just as we are, and we thank you for this gift and this opportunity to promote you and to just be able to discuss you and our experiences, our failures, our fears and just some informational information for those that you intended to hear. This, lord, we pray that you be used, that we decrease and you increase in this conversation, and we just pray that you have your way so that you get the glory and the praise. Lord, we thank you for the opportunity. We give you all the glory and all the praise and, in Jesus' name, we pray. It acts that declared to create, believe it and receive it. It is so and so it is. In Jesus' name, amen.

Speaker 1: 1:08

Amen, amen. So I wanted to start off by talking about church hurts as our first episode, so that we can unpack that, because I think a lot of people have straight away from church and from God because of the people in the church that have turned them away and discriminated against them, and I believe that church is supposed to be a place of healing, a place of love. Fellowship with like-minded people that are striving to do the same is heal and be delivered. So you want to start with your first experience of where you either witness a church hurt or experience it firsthand yourself.

Speaker 2: 2:03

Mine speaking for me is always on that experience as being a lesbian and going to church, which I am a lesbianist, A lesbian. So going to church, in some cases I would hear the term of preachers saying such things as like you're going to hell, you shouldn't be gay going to hell. Or certain people coming in the church dressed as a man, which are women, and that bothered me because I dress almost as a man. I just always felt like a tomboy, so I wear boy clothes.

Speaker 1: 2:47

I don't feel comfortable. You feel more comfortable. Yeah, yes exactly so.

Speaker 2: 2:51

Therefore, that's how I dress and I've had, you know, some pastors say something about that or coming about it, while I'm in there in the church doing the service that I'm in. So to me, that's offensive yeah.

Speaker 2: 3:07

And it drew me away from the church, which I shouldn't have let. That drove me away from a church, but at the same time, I don't want to be in a church because, to me, I feel like God is a God of love and I have a relationship with God. Therefore, he's the only one that can judge me. So I don't feel like a pastor should make anyone feel less than you know, because I feel like they push away some precious souls that actually need it. You're coming to church to be fed, and it's just like going to the doctor. You go to the doctor to be healed. So you're coming to church to get feeding and to get fed, but if you're constantly, you know, being demonized or judged, as you know, because of who you choose to love you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2: 3:53

I don't feel that's right, but you know, then again, everybody have different reasons for that and I've actually got up in the middle of the service and walked out because some things were said and it made me feel uncomfortable. I'm not going to sit anywhere where I'm on wanted. Exactly so I feel like if you're judging me, I feel like then you don't want me in a church or you're embarrassed by me being me. So, therefore, I'm going to stay away. So how do?

Speaker 1: 4:19

you feel?

Speaker 2: 4:20

about that.

Speaker 1: 4:21

I mean, I totally agree. I think that when people would, you would hear the whispers and I used to have. Now, everybody doesn't have proper clothes to wear. Sometimes the church, and I would notice the looks and stairs because all I had at one point was, you know, my dress clothes was dressed skirts that had splits all the way up the side, and I would have either the ladies come and put a scarf over me or, you know, or just kind of give me those stairs and looks and sometimes I would hear the conversations talking about other members of the church and it turned me off.

Speaker 1: 5:02

Honestly, you know, and I just feel like when you go to church, you know, this is just my belief that when you go, you just, like you said, you go to get fed the word. If it's going to pierce you, as in the Bible it says, it appears like a two inch sword. If it's going to pierce you and touch home, then it's going to do that. You don't have to actually judge, you know, and I think that's God's job. I think our job is just to love each other where we are in that season, you know, in our lives, and we just need some compassion and some empathy when we're going through and generally a lot of times when we just go to church.

Speaker 1: 5:49

We go to church because we're trying to get some positivity in our lives, we're trying to grow, we're trying to heal, we're trying to get delivered from the past hurts and traumas and things that we've experienced. The last thing we need is because we're already judged out in the world by so many hateful people and mean people that when we go to church, we want to feel at home, we want to feel like this is family, you know, and we're just there to get the word and, like I said, fellowship with like minded people. But I don't know, I just I. For me, I think a lot of people turned away from God and away from church and they look at people and they just, I don't know, they have the judgy eyes and it turns people away and people could get so, like you said, some real precious souls that could get that healing, you know right, right, right.

Speaker 2: 6:47

And I agree, especially like in this day and time, with, like, suicides being so high, and if someone's coming to you, like we said before earlier, just to piggyback on that for healing and you're trying to heal and you've been hurt by, like you said, the world, because you go out to the world and people are going to judge you, no matter what it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1: 7:11

Yeah, because hurt people, hurt people.

Speaker 2: 7:14

Exactly so. Therefore, you come in a church so you can get that healing and so you can learn about God. And that's the reason, like you said, we go to church, we want to, we want to grow closer to God, we want to be, you know, in in a community as your page community unity of love. You know I'm saying so, thank you. You already feeling like an outsider, so you go in a church to you know to have some like you belong somewhere where you feel comfortable and safe.

Speaker 2: 7:45

And then you know for somebody, like you said, to judge you or throw throw stabs, that you, you know I'm saying what you're going to get that from the world anyway, I don't believe that that's, you know, right and fair. And you know I'm saying, and this is just like you said, our experiences and what we've been through, and even me, you know what, being with it, I would rather feel more comfortable in a church, does you know, just accepting me as me? You know what I'm saying because?

Speaker 1: 8:11

Because you never know what God is doing in that person. You know we Exactly.

Speaker 1: 8:16

It's his time. So a lot of us, sometimes we have maybe arrived to a certain place in our lives and you might have someone else that's struggling with certain things and we've already kind of like, for example, let me say this like you can't, you know, drag someone to church. I mean as kids, you know, of course our parents and grandparents did, but when I say we would come to church, but will we really get anything out of it? But it's really a great thing when someone wants to come on their own because they know that they need God in their life and they need that relationship. And don't get me wrong, you don't have to go to church in order to have a relationship with God, you know you can have that personal relationship yourself.

Speaker 1: 9:01

And I'm not saying you have to go to church, but it would be nice to go to church and be around like-minded people, people that understand the struggle, that have been through some things and can kind of share those things with you so that it helps you grow as well, you know. Absolutely Sharing that wisdom and that knowledge that they've gained through their own personal situations.

Speaker 1: 9:25

You know their trials and tribulations, as they call it, that we come in and we want, you know, just to feel like you said. Everybody just wants to feel like they belong somewhere. And in a safe place to be able to praise and worship So-.

Speaker 2: 9:43

Absolutely.

Speaker 1: 9:44

I just I think that we should all get along and the world should have a kumbaya moment and allow us to have our own. Just be unique and different, you know Right right. And I said nobody knows what God is doing with you in that moment or that season. You know, you could be a prostitute you could be a drug addict, you could be anything. And then it says come as you are, and it doesn't mean you're frozen.

Speaker 2: 10:13

I was just for to say that you took the words.

Speaker 1: 10:15

Go ahead, you said it.

Speaker 2: 10:16

Right, it's. Come as you are, because because you, yeah, you absolutely right, cause that's what I was thinking in my head Like it says come as you are because he, god, invites you, wants you to come to him just as you are, because he's the one that heals you and he's the one that deliver you, and just the pastor is just that, that's just your church, that you have.

Speaker 2: 10:37

But, if you're letting God use you, then you would uplift and motivate people and give people grace, because at the end of the day, we all fall short, every day, all day. So if you're going to be a pastor and you're going to be over people, then you need to give people grace, cause you can't judge people and I'm not saying that you can't, you know say what's in the Bible and what's in the Bible is what's in the Bible. But at the end of the day, you know if somebody's coming to you exactly to uplift or say certain things.

Speaker 2: 11:05

Like you know, we experienced before in the church together and they were like if a president is going to vote for the marriage to be legal for gay and lesbians, then we don't want that president, so really Like who says that you're in a sermon.

Speaker 1: 11:20

You don't support the members either. But yeah, you're in a sermon and you're in a politics, exactly so.

Speaker 2: 11:26

Therefore, that means you don't want me in your church because I'm a lesbian, so I'm just going to go ahead and leave.

Speaker 1: 11:33

Thank you, yeah, yeah, but anyway, you know, I'm saying this is ignorant about things, and a sin is a sin is a sin. You know. There's no, there's no greater sin. And also with the Bible, you know there's a lot of scrolls that are missing out of the Bible, so we can't really quote, quote everything that's in there and we don't know if they, when they were trying to write it, that they actually translated it properly, you know. So we just take the good from everything. I used to call the Bible basic instructions before leaving earth, because it's a guide for us how to treat people, how God wants us to come together and love one another and serve one another.

Speaker 1: 12:21

When I say serve, you know just giving whether you're giving money, whether you're giving knowledge. Yes, whatever it is that you're given to one another to help each other grow and be better or be the best version of themselves they can be. That's what we're here for to uplift like well, elevate, motivate and educate.

Speaker 2: 12:47

Exactly uplift, motivate and educate. Exactly, and I think that's as you go to church, that's what you look forward to, like, as you said before being a community, it's somewhere you can go, so you can feel safe, because the world right now as it is as we see it, so oh man, we can.

Speaker 2: 13:04

Yeah, and not only that, just uncertain. So you want to go somewhere where you know you feel comfortable and you have some type of normalcy, so to speak, because actually you know what is really normal you know now exactly, I know, I know, but it's okay to be weird and unique and different. Yeah, yeah because we want, because you think about it. God made us all different. Look at us, millions and millions of us, and we all have different fingerprints.

Speaker 2: 13:29

We're all different and he doesn't want us to be the same because he didn't make us like that. So you don't know exactly. We all have a purpose we're here for a reason.

Speaker 1: 13:39

And that's only for him to know and it's not for other people to try to be in your business and try to judge you and what you've done. And you know, you know the things that we have done does not make us who we are. Absolutely yeah, exactly so we all have fallen short.

Speaker 2: 13:59

You're past. Yes, yes, yeah, your past doesn't define you.

Speaker 1: 14:04

Your future, you know you or your future, exactly, exactly, yeah. So I'm really glad that we had this discussion, absolutely. Anything else that you wanted to add to church hurts.

Speaker 2: 14:17

Just, just, uh. Just you know if, if you know people out there that do have churches or you know, or pastors or pastoring, just just have more grace, because it's a lot of people out there that's hurting and it's so much suicide right now, and just you know people already. You know a lot of, you know self insecurities and hatred is because of what people will say or how they're treated. Just just, uh, just spread love. Like it just goes to back when we were kids, when our parents used to say, if you don't have nothing good to say, don't say nothing at all. Like, if you're not going to uplift somebody and you're going to use your, your power and your platform to tear somebody down, then it's best to just not say anything at all.

Speaker 2: 15:00

You know so just having more grace, just more grace and and and and, just everybody, not just churches of how we treat people, because there's so many hurting and broken people out there and they're just looking for someone or or somebody to understand. So they're coming to church to just like we you know, say it before to get fed or just to have just be accepted as they are. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 15:23

So exactly that's, that's that's pretty much it. Yeah, I just um. I guess I would just say, basically, what you just said is to encourage someone. If you, um, have not found a church home, what you can do is watch some sermons. I like to watch Sarah Jakes, td Jakes. I know you already know that we are.

Speaker 2: 15:47

Sarah Jakes, robert Span, yeah me as well.

Speaker 1: 15:49

Yeah, td Jakes, and in the beginning I used to watch. Uh, was it Joe Osteen. Yeah, joe, I haven't watched them in a while. And um, what was the lady? Joyce Myers? I used to read her books?

Speaker 1: 16:00

Absolutely so, but you find what's best for you and um yeah, because we can't tell you, like, where to go, but for we can just say what helped us and what helped me was still tapping in or tuning into those sermons, uh, online, um, or maybe I would listen to you know, some positivity it doesn't even actually have to be a pastor, but someone. That is very motivating and um, what else, um, positive.

Speaker 2: 16:34

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 16:36

So just don't let that cancel your relationship with God, Because at the end of the day, your relationship with God, that's your creator, that's you know that should be nobody's business. That's your own personal relationship. And then we should um, I just want to say this If you have girlfriends, boyfriends, friends that you ride or die for, and they mess up and make mistakes and do all these things and you end up being back friends or you end up being back together or whatever, and you don't, you know, cancel them.

Speaker 1: 17:12

Don't cancel God, that's the that's the main person, that's the main spirit. You don't want to cancel it. Your creator is to cancel their relationship, because we can't do nothing without him. And that's what I've learned through my experiences, that I know that it's his divine time and it's his purpose for my life and um, I'm just basically being used as a vessel to be a blessing to others, you know, and to um try to be the best version of me I can be.

Speaker 1: 17:43

And that takes, you know, it takes work to heal and um, but it you know it wouldn't hurt if we could have a place that we could worship and and praise the Lord, you know, but yeah.

Speaker 2: 17:58

I totally agree with that. Don't let anybody push away from God just because the church feels a certain type of way because at the end of the day the church is not. God, god is God, everybody, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1: 18:10

So everybody, those people need help too. That's why they're there, but they might not tell you that. They might think that they have been healed from everything, but we're going to heal and change and evolve.

Speaker 2: 18:21

And to our last breath. Exactly that's what life is about Evolve and learning and just like having more grace.

Speaker 1: 18:29

You're going to make mistakes. You know you got to make mistakes. In order to learn, you have to make mistakes and find yourself.

Speaker 2: 18:37

Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1: 18:39

So well. Thank you so much for being our co-host today, and I think we'll be on a little bit more and share our stories and our experiences so that we can touch other people's lives and hopefully, we can transform and heal together as a nation. That would be lovely.

Speaker 2: 19:02

Absolutely, and I thank you for having me. And to everybody, just stay blessed, be blessed and spread love and not hate.

Speaker 1: 19:12

Amen to that.

Speaker 2: 19:13

Thank you for having me.

Speaker 1: 19:15

You're so welcome, so you will be definitely our regular co-host, and if you're not available then I guess I'm going to have to do it myself. But at the end of the day, I really enjoyed your feedback and your honest opinions about things and then even your experiences. So we're going to continue this and I will have a new topic for next week. But thank you guys so much for joining and listening to us. Please share. If you feel like this has touched you, let us know at Free Concepts Podcast at gmailcom.

Speaker 2: 19:54

Okay, all right, thank you everyone, all right, Everyone have a blessed one, and we will talk to you next week. Bye.